Resistance to change can be very hard to admit. We are certain we want the changes. We do with all our heart. But then nothing happens. At all. Granted, we could just be in a period of riding the momentum of change for awhile, or the changes are coming but just haven’t appeared on the surface yet.
But what if you’ve been working hard for a long time and you’re still stuck?
The problem is that resistance can show up in one of two main ways: as some kind of discomfort (“negative” feelings, frustration), or as “lack” of effect. The former is, in some ways, easier to manage because there is “something to address,” so to speak. Quite often, that you’re in resistance.
But to what?
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Often, much of the misery we feel in life (the suffering) comes from resisting what is. This then falls into two categories, what we can change and what we can’t change.
Spinning around these two categories are judgments of what is (or what isn’t), generally couched in phrases like, “X SHOULD be…!” Or, “X SHOULDN’T be…!” And, yet, here we are, confronted with something indicating its the opposite, refusing to accept it. Stubbornly. And suffering for it.
So how to change things so we aren’t in mental pain? Read more →
When you start out on a new goal, you often want to go all-in. Chuck all the bad food, cigarettes and so on. Going for the 30-day challenge. Clearing out that whole pantry of nefarious foods and temptations.
Because if you can do exactly that—rev into a goal with all the liftoff power of a Saturn 5 rocket pushing Neil Armstrong and buzz Aldrin to the Moon—you’ll have one huge swell of momentum. Right?
Why only maybe? Read more →
Today I’m finding I need to take some of my own advice.
I have something I’ve been trying to get sorted and back on track for myself since December of 2015. And it’s something I really need to get “fixed”, if you will (what it is doesn’t matter, only that it’s important and necessary.)
Coupled with that is another opportunity I want to expand upon. Unfortunately, in many ways, the growth of that opportunity depends greatly on finding a solution to the “issue” issue that began in December of 2015. (I use quotes because I want to remain mindful that, even with as frustrated as I am, I remain solution-focused.)
So what am I going to do? How am I going to solve “Problem” A so I can expand Opportunity B?
I don’t know. Read more →
Many folks who hear the words “stoic” or “stoicism” bring to mind someone who is aloof. Cold. Uncaring. Self-centered, even.
But, actually—folks who practice stoicism do care deeply about the world. The difference is they know how to control their emotions, rather than letting the emotionality of the moment control them.
I’ve inadvertently practiced stoicism for many years. Meaning, I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing until I read the definition. I looked at my reactions to things as merely a way to remain focused and in a way were I could be actionary, if you will, rather than reactionary. But it’s easy for some who do not (re)act in such a manner about things to confuse stoicism with lack of caring or indifference. Read more →