Category Archives: Perfectionism

If the World Were Perfect, it Wouldn’t Be: The Destructive Force of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is perhaps one of the most destructive “goals” someone can have. It’s perhaps #1 on many a list of many a client, and it’s their #1 frustration. The #1 source of disappointment, anger, resentment, despair and just about any other mental block-creating emotion and thought pattern someone can have.

But how can this be?

Isn’t perfection exactly what you should seek? Isn’t that the highest state of living we can achieve? Where we’ll find peace, harmony and happiness? Where we’ll be free from all our mistakes and flaws and everything that’s wrong in our lives and our surroundings?

That’s the idea. But that’s also how we destroy much of what we have in our life that’s already pretty terrific. Read more →


Act on Cravings….But With Fully-Conscious Mindfulness

mindfulnessmindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness mindfulness
Act on cravings?  What?  What WHAT?!  I know you said “with fully-conscious mindfulness”, but still — ! How does that work when the point is to “eat clean” and healthy?!

Yes.  Let me explain with this post, and this article what mindfulness is.

Denial of cravings, labeling something as “bad” (which is different than “unhealthy” in this case) can lead to total destruction of momentum in a diet change or as you’re getting healthier.  Case in point.  I got really serious about my lifting several years ago.  Someone brought in two dozen maple bars to the office (my favorite, though I no longer consume them as I don’t do grains of any kind).  I gave myself a solid NO!  They disappeared.

But, then, the next day, someone brought in another couple dozen of them. Read more →


Show Up as Best as You Can Each Day

determination-1Determination doesn’t mean always hitting 100% of 100% 100% of the time. Sometimes determination is to find a way to do as much as you can. Your 1% each day, as that may be as much as you can muster.

Many people think that if they aren’t at 100% of their ideal tip-top shape every day, they must then somehow shove themselves into that mindset every single day, otherwise it’s Failure.  With a capital F.  And then they wonder why they’re listless, frustrated and burned out.

That’s not the most ideal way to show up as best as you can. Read more →


Tip-Top, Surefire Way to Get Unstuck

….But only if you put it into practice: Ask for help.

For some, asking for help when stuck might be a no-brainer.  Where some people see it as an admission of deep-seeded weakness (“I have no knowledge, but I should have known!” How can you know what to do if you don’t know what to do?), while other people see it as a way to deepen what they already know. I call it “getting a second pair of eyeballs” on a situation. Asking for help, as someone once pointed out to me, when they recognized my stubborn streak for doing so, isn’t a sign of weakness.  It’s actually a sign of strength.

Why? Because there’s an enormous amount of power and learning/growth opportunity in admitting you don’t know something.

This post is a bit longer than the others, so I’ve divided it into three parts; none was long enough to make into its own post.

Read more →


Embarrassment Happens

EmbarrassmentEmbarrassment is a guaranteed part of life. You’ll trip in front of people, drop something that makes a large amount of noise, right smack in the middle of peak business at the grocery store, your child will throw up all over the Manila Airport in the Philippines (even though she tried several times to let you know she was going to do so….)

There will be times when you pass the boundaries of embarrassment and shoot right into mortification so fast your head hurts from the rush of blood to your scalp, blood that’s moving so fast it ricochets off the top of your head and slides all the way to your toes.

It’s going to happen. I guarantee it. It’s happened before, and it’ll happen again. If you’re someone who’s prone to tripping over your feet and shadows, who has a chronic case of butterfingers, you can do something about that (such as paying attention to your feet and what you’re doing with deep mindfulness). But even if you aren’t, you’re still going to wind up in a moment of embarrassment.

The trick is to let go of feeling ashamed about it. That it means you’re “broken”. Read more →