Resistance to change can be very hard to admit. We are certain we want the changes. We do with all our heart. But then nothing happens. At all. Granted, we could just be in a period of riding the momentum of change for awhile, or the changes are coming but just haven’t appeared on the surface yet.
But what if you’ve been working hard for a long time and you’re still stuck?
The problem is that resistance can show up in one of two main ways: as some kind of discomfort (“negative” feelings, frustration), or as “lack” of effect. The former is, in some ways, easier to manage because there is “something to address,” so to speak. Quite often, that you’re in resistance.
But to what?
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It’s absolutely normal to feel this way.
But it’s actually an illusion. As a life coach, every single client I worked with (yes, every single one) ran into this at some point. Sometimes a full 180 degree return. Sometimes mildly.
Sometimes they remained in that return and gave up. But those who realized/accepted they’d get through it and it was normal, went on to achieve what they wanted.
What you’re experiencing is an unconscious resistance to the changes you’re trying to make that’s becoming conscious. Meaning, you’re in awareness of the resistance we can all feel at times to the changes. (I’ve been in a slump recently myself.) this is a good thing.
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Letting go is an aspect of mindfulness we can overlook. Mindfulness is also about the things that bubble and churn down deep inside us that we unconsciously allow to control our actions. How we speak to others. When we let go of the things below, we open ourselves to healthier lives in heart, mind and body.
letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go letting go
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When it comes to change, resistance can hit us with all the stubbornness of a mule. But we don’t always see that we’re doing that, or that ways we’re reacting to change is resistance, especially if we’re really focused on change and we generally allow it. Read more →
Forgiveness isn’t, as the title states, about the other person. It’s about you.
I realize that may seem backwards, or merely convoluted, but it’s true. Forgiveness is you letting go of the things that are making you sick, tired, unhappy and stuck in your own stuff and your past. Yes, there are things that are enormously difficult to let go of that you may not be able to give (and I invite you to take a look at all that you carry and ask yourself if they are as large as you think they are), but you can still be free from their weight by accepting that they happened and that they cannot be changed.
Forgiveness also means understanding — really understanding — that people are imperfect and that they’re going to make mistakes. Just like you. Yes — just like you. You step on toes, too. Sometimes inadvertently, sometimes because you aren’t being mindful of where you are. Forgiveness is a choice — your choice — your choice — to continue to let something affect you.
I realize this is perhaps a tough concept to digest and accept, but it’s one worth trying on.
Especially if the other person has given a heartfelt apology. After that, you’re either making the choice to hoard that insult and thoughts of purposeful maltreatment, or realize the person fouled up, perhaps majorly, and allow them their humanity. Read more →