SMALL CHANGE LIFE COACHING

Category Archives: Self-sabotage

If the World Were Perfect, it Wouldn’t Be: The Destructive Force of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is perhaps one of the most destructive “goals” someone can have. It’s perhaps #1 on many a list of many a client, and it’s their #1 frustration. The #1 source of disappointment, anger, resentment, despair and just about any other mental block-creating emotion and thought pattern someone can have.

But how can this be?

Isn’t perfection exactly what you should seek? Isn’t that the highest state of living we can achieve? Where we’ll find peace, harmony and happiness? Where we’ll be free from all our mistakes and flaws and everything that’s wrong in our lives and our surroundings?

That’s the idea. But that’s also how we destroy much of what we have in our life that’s already pretty terrific. Read more →

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Yes, You DO Have a Choice in Victimhood

victimhoodVictimhood  is a choice. Becoming victimized isn’t necessarily one, but remaining stuck in victimhood is.

But in reading comments on an article by The Atlantic Monthly, it’s incredibly amazing to me–but also not–how the idea of personal power and that *remaining* feeling like a victim utterly ENRAGES some people. And articles like this, in my opinion, while trying to bring to light the depth of the issue also inadvertently reinforce the idea there’s nothing that can be done.

The thing is, not just women are victimized on the Internet. And as long as there are people who feel powerless, and as long as there is a demand for sites that allow content for victimizing people, they will remain. But it’s your choice, even if you were victimized by one of those sites, to remain feeling powerless and like a victim. The people who run sites that do allow that content want you to remain feeling like that. Read more →

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Self-Acceptance: How to No Longer Feel so Drained

acceptanceSelf-acceptance, wholly, is the biggest necessary aspect for change. The more you “fight” something about yourself you’d like to change, especially if you “fight hard”, the more that will make it not only stick around, but make it a greater and greater and greater issue. Change is not about elimination or cutting something out of yourself harshly.

The more you “fight” something about yourself you’d like to change, especially if you “fight hard”, the more that will make it not only stick around, but make it a greater and greater and greater issue. Change is not about elimination or cutting something out of yourself harshly.

The more you try to force change or force something out of you (you cannot force emotions out of you, you can only learn how to control them as best as you can) the worse you’ll feel.

Read more →

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Wednesday Tip Jar: 6 Ways to Check for Self-Sabotage

SabotageSabotage can be sneakier than we like. Sometimes, when we just can’t seem to get to a goal, and it’s realistic and achievable, there’s self-sabotage going on. Sometimes it’s a belief system. Sometimes it’s values conflict sometimes it’s timing. Here are six more ways you can check to see what’s going on for you. Read more →

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